


Never Coming Back

by witchee_writer



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Post-Thor (2011)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27663536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchee_writer/pseuds/witchee_writer
Summary: Sif wanted to be angry, she wanted to make Loki hurt for his betrayal. But it was hard to hurt someone that was already dead.
Relationships: Loki/Sif, Loki/Sif (Marvel)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	Never Coming Back

**Author's Note:**

> I adore the Loki/Sif pairing and I am finally making a contribution.

"Where is your fool of a brother so I can put my knife in his chest," spat Sif, angrily. She didn't notice the unusual pale tinge to Thor's skin, the dull look in his once bright blue eyes. She was blind to such things in her anger. Loki was prone to mischievousness, but none of this had been a joke, or a matter of amusing himself, it had been cruel. Sif didn't know what had changed in their friend, in the youngest Prince of Asgard, but something had.

Sif could have forgiven him for having Thor exiled, at least in time. That was harmless, really and Thor had returned to them a better warrior for it. But everything else? There was no excuse. Her hands clenched into fists, and the Warriors Three eyed her, warily. Perhaps it hurt a little more to think that a man that was so often by their side in battle had instead put them all in danger, had tried to have them killed. Perhaps it hurt even more because all Sif could think about was Loki and his green eyes sparkling in amusement, rolling them in exasperation, his sharp tongue scolding them all for putting themselves in unnecessary danger and wasting his time. The Loki she knew, the Loki they had all known for centuries would never have done this.

Thor sighed, deeply. He did not look to the others, only her. Maybe that stung just as much as everything else. Thor knew that aside from himself, Loki's betrayal would have hurt her the most.

Not that she cared for Loki.

Not that they had ever formed a strange relationship of falling into one another's beds every now and again, not that Loki had ever thrown himself between her and danger before, not that Sif had ever nursed him back to health when he had been injured. No, they had never done such things, it would have been foolish. Who would fall for the dark, shadowed second Prince of the throne and not the first, bright and warm and brave.

"Well?" snapped Sif, testily. "I hope you know that no prison cell will keep your brother safe from me-"

"He'll have a line up of people I'm sure," said Volstagg, amused.

"He probably would have had that before too," sniggered Fandral.

"Loki is dead," said Thor, hoarsely. The silence that fell over them was heavy. Volstagg opened his mouth and closed it again, Fandral sobered instantly. Sif heard a strange buzzing in her ears, the world blurring around her. For all he had done, Loki deserved punishment but not this. He was not meant to die, he was never meant to die. He was meant to learn the error of his ways, suffer under their teasing and torment until he earned back their trust in a few centuries time. Hogun placed a hand on her arm, whether it was to comfort her or hold her up, Sif did not know.

"How?" said Volstagg, quietly.

"He- he fell..." Thor winced, and never had they seen Thor to stumble over his words, to look so lost and broken. Under normal circumstance Loki would have been there to roll his eyes and explain the situation, eloquent in a way his brother had never been. "From the Bifrost, he fell from the Bifrost."

"Fell?" said Sif, disbelievingly. "How did he fall? Thor-"

"We were fighting, I was trying to stop him not hurt him. He- he was not himself," said Thor, shaking his head. "Father had lied to him for so long, he-"

"The Allfather lied to him?" asked Fandral, carefully. "About what?"

Thor shook his head, "It doesn't matter for he is- was- always will be my brother. It doesn't matter that he was adopted from Jotunheim, that his blood runs blue, it does not matter, it would never have mattered, that fool." Sif felt herself sway, and Hogun's grip tightened. Loki was not of Asgard? Loki was of Jotunheim? Why had he not said anything? Sif suspected it was that piece of knowledge that had changed him, that had broken him. Would they have listened if he had said anything? Would Thor? He said it wouldn't have mattered but would the Thor of old have listened to the words his brother said, or would he have cast him aside?

"When did he find out?" questioned Fandral.

"After I was exiled, it was a shock to him, but if he had just spoken the truth-" Thor looked pained. "If he had just spoken to me, perhaps he would not have- perhaps he would still be-"

"You're not telling us something," said Sif, sharply. Her mind might have been a swirling maelstrom of emotion, but she knew her friend, her Prince, well enough to know that. "What is it? What do you keep to yourself?"

"Sif..." said Thor, imploringly. "It will only hurt you more to know- knowing the pain my brother has been in all this time is not something-"

" _Thor_."

Thor sighed, "Loki fell over the Bifrost," he said, "But I managed to take a hold of him, and that was when father came. His words were not what he wanted to hear, I saw the change come over him. If I look back on our years, I see how desperately he craved our father's approval, I see how he was so often cast aside. We teased him relentlessly, I wonder if he would call any of you friends or whether to him you were simply my friends. I wonder if he knew how I cared for him, how, despite my brashness, I would do anything-"

"Thor," whispered Sif, her heart clenching in fear and grief. A part of her knew there was only one way this story could end. She had seen the darker parts of him sometimes, his vulnerability. He tried so hard to hide it away, push it aside, but Sif knew it to be there.

Thor's eyes shined with tears and grief and regret, "We could have saved him, he was right there but then something changed. Loki did not fall, Loki _let go._ " He choked the words out as if they physically hurt him and Sif could not bear to hear anymore, to see Thor collapse to his knees, his body shaking with sobs. "He did not want to live any longer, he chose death, he wished to die."

Sif tore herself from Hogun's grip, her own tears threatening to fall. She would not let them see, she could not let them see. Fandral called after her as she stormed from the room. She did not know where she was going, only that she could not be there. Sif didn't realise until it was too late that she had somehow arrived in Loki's quarters. It felt as if it was both too long and not long enough since she had last been there. Nothing had changed, it rarely did. Deep green curtains and blankets, papers and books scattered across every other surface, artefacts that Sif never knew anything about it. Loki used to explain such things to her under the cover of night, lulling Sif to a restful sleep, assuming she had not come for something else. In that case, he never quite got to finish what he was saying. Not that he minded all that much.

It felt as if Loki should come back at any time, should appear, tired and angry, but alive nonetheless.

But Loki wasn't going to come back, Loki had fallen into the void of space, lost to them all. Loki had been offered salvation and had rejected it. He didn't want to live, not for himself, not for his brother, and not for her.

Sif glared around at the room, ignoring the tears that slipped down her cheeks. "You bastard," she whispered, "You weren't supposed to die, I would have- you still would have been Loki, nothing had to change, not really."

There was no reply, no shift in the shadows, no whisper in the wind, nothing.

A part of her hoped there would be.

Sif crumpled to the ground. She wanted to be angry, she wanted to destroy any reminder of him that she could but her body had other ideas. This room, this last remnant of Loki was too precious to destroy. This was all they had left of him, all _she_ had left of him.

He was gone, he was really, truly gone and never coming back.

Her heart squeezed in pain, her throat felt tight. Sif never thought it would hurt so much, but she never thought they would lose him. He was too clever to be killed, or he was meant to be.

"I hate you," she whispered, to the cold, empty room.

Sif didn't mean it, she never had. Loki knew that, didn't he? The amused glint in his eyes every time she said it told her he did. Still, she couldn't help but wonder, she couldn't help but think about what else she could have said, could have done.

It was too late now.

Loki was gone.

Loki was never coming back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, liking, commenting, and all that good stuff. I much appreciate it!


End file.
